I wrote this poem after finding myself in spiralling thoughts. The content of my thoughts at the time was mainly themed around spiritual concepts. I was full of existential questions, dissecting my mind and my ego. I became quite confused and overwhelmed whilst contemplating such extreme paradoxes within myself and life at large.
Come back down
Come down come down come down
Marshalling myself away from the mania of thought
Come down from my mind
Stop the madness of speculation
And feel
Feel into the mass of my form
Massing together as I rally back to my body
Renounce the ruckus of rumination
And convene back to sensation
Assemble the parts dismembered
From my mindless chatter and un-remembering
Congregation of consciousness in the concrete softness of this earthly matter
Flock together my awareness and shepherd back to the heart
Huddle into the tangible
Touch, taste, hear, smell and see
Seep into every bit of this being
Seeing with clarity, gratitude for tactility
Forage for all forgotten fragments of me
Ground me back in reality
Discard ideals and intellectualisation
Rather, devotionally accept the decent into depths of density
Pulled by gravity in substance sweetness
Soothingly uniting threads unravelled from stories, theories and thoughts
Into the spacious simplicity of simple satiating sensuality
The more I experiment and explore my inner workings and consciousness, the more I feel demanded to face myself. What I discover is not always easy but now that I’ve started, there’s no going back. As one of my teachers would say: “there’s no shoving the butterfly back into the chrysalis”.
Rather than really feeling the dissonance that was rising, I was up in my mind, trying to intellectualise my experience. I felt frustrated as I watched my mind get swept up in all its own dramas and stories. I could feel resistance in allowing myself to be in a state of confusion and scattered mind. I know I have a tendency to hold high expectations for myself and so here I can work on radical acceptance for all parts of my imperfect humanity. It’s such a relief to work towards creating peace with all aspects of my being.
After some time of overthinking, feeling like I was going completely mad, I remembered that no matter the content of my thoughts, whether contemplating spiritualty or otherwise, it’s all still mind, still limited and conditioned, still just stories and beliefs. I was called back to feel in my body and to simply observe what sensations were present. It was a reminder for me of all the lessons I learnt through vipassana meditation – to experience reality through the tangible sensations of the body with total neutrality of mind, accepting reality as it is.
When I am faced with either overwhelming thoughts or emotions and I give myself permission to allow those things to be, without the intent to fix or change anything, then in that allowing, they pass through and disperse. I find it incredibly grounding to connect to my body in a very visceral way. It is also humbling to be reminded of these lessons time and time again, each time in different flavours and circumstances, offering me the opportunity to integrate to new levels.
I’d love to hear from you what you took from this poem, did it inspire or spark something for you? Get in touch by email or social media.
Written with love,
Ursula
